The Astros' Apologies Were Almost As Bad As The Fact That They Were Caught Stealing Signs

In case you’ve been living under a rock, or just have an overall disdain for the sport of baseball, you are familiar with the recent cheating scandal that centers around the 2017 World Series Champion Houston Astros. Heck, even if you live under a rock you have probably heard about the scandal in one way or another. After-all, when baseball players and teams cheat, they go all out. McGwire, Sosa, Clemens, Bonds, A-Rod, and now the Houston Astros.

For those who are unfamiliar with the Astros’ cheating scandal, here’s the shortened and simplified version of it. Since 2016 the Houston Astros have been stealing signs from opposing teams and then relaying those signs, in real-time, using a video room -- where the signs were decoded by members of the Astros staff -- and a trash can, which was used by another member of the Astros organization to communicate those signs to the players on the field.

Here’s essentially how it worked. Astros’ MVP Jose Altuve approaches the batter’s box for an at-bat. The catcher and pitcher communicate which pitch to throw using hand signs. Those signs are being recorded by a camera and the video feed is being watched by members of the Astros organization in a separate part of the stadium. Those watching the video feed determine which pitch is about to be thrown and then relay that information to Altuve, who is at-bat. They do this by banging on a metal trash can. One bang on the trash can indicates that a slider is coming, for example. Now Altuve knows what pitch is coming..

Well, as cheaters usually do, the Astros were caught and the MLB concluded an investigation. The penalties? Houston Manager AJ Hinch was suspended for a year and subsequently fired, the Astros were assessed a $5 million fine and they lost their first- and second-round draft picks in both 2020 and '21. No suspension for any players caught cheating and most importantly no forfeit of their 2017 World Series Championship*.

Not only were the punishments handed down to the Astros extremely light -- according to everyone but die-hard Houston fans -- but MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred then gave the Astros a break from the constant publicity and criticism when Major League Baseball released their proposal for a new playoff format. The playoff format is a discussion for another day but it was enough to take some of the pressure off the Houston Astros. That was, until this morning.

After months of waiting, the Houston Astros decided to give official statements and apologies this morning in a press conference that featured Astros' Owner Jim Crane, new Manager Dusty Baker and star players Jose Altuve and Alex Bregman. Here’s a summary of how it went.

All kidding aside, the Astros “apology” -- if that’s what you can call it -- was no better than one you would get from a kid who was forced to apologize to his little sister for pushing her. Here are some of the highlights.

Amazing. Months of preparation and they came up with 85 seconds worth of forced apologies. The crowning jewel of their statements is Bregman’s hand gestures.

Incredible. The owner of a professional sports franchise won’t admit that cheating gave them a competitive advantage. “We’re apologizing because we broke the rules.” No, you’re not. You’re apologizing because you got caught.

Finally, a player on the Astros that seems contrite for cheating. Maybe opposing pitchers will throw at him less than others on the Astros when they face the other 29 teams.

But here is my favorite moment coming out of the Astros fiasco today.

Absolutely incredible. In case you were wondering, yes, it did impact the game. It 100% impacted the game.

There are two people that I feel bad for involved in the Astros' fiasco. One is Houston’s new Manager Dusty Baker, who the Astros hired to replace AJ Hinch after the scandal came to light. Baker may not be the best manager in the world -- I thought he did a decent enough job in Washington -- but he had nothing to do with this cheating scandal and yet the Astros still put him up there with the owner and players to face the music. The second person is Alex Cora, who was painted by Houston to be the mastermind behind the cheating scandal and as a result, was suspended for a year and subsequently fired by the Red Sox, the team he led to a World Series title in 2018. Well, information has since indicated that the Astros cheating scandal began in 2016, before Cora joined the Astros staff, and concluded in 2018, when Cora was in Boston. Cora even went as far as to warn the Nationals, who defeated the Astros in the 2019 World Series, about the Astros sign-stealing.

Hopefully, today’s fiasco will lead Rob Manfred and Major League Baseball to re-open the Astros investigation and hand down a stiffer penalty. But even I can’t explain it as eloquently as ESPN’s Stephen A. Smith.